It's been so long since I've written! I almost forgot I had a blog! You probably didn't even know I had one 'til now, so this is the best worst place to start!
People always ask me what I do. "Oh, me?" as if they weren't looking directly at me, awaiting an answer. "Oh, well, I do nothing." There's usually some awkward laughter at the stupidity of my answer on their behalf, and the topic often changes to how adorable sprinkles make doughnuts look.
If they press on, I assure them I am not privy to a trust fund, nor have I won the lottery. Nothing about my life would suggest that I have a lot of money, because I don't. "But you seem to have a lot of free time..." they muse. "Ah, yes, mostly because I do nothing." "But how do you pay your bills?"
That's when the conversation gets really fun or really boring; I must tell them the truth. And the truth of doing nothing is really the truth of doing everything. When it feels like you do everything but have very little to show for it, the result resembles doing nothing. Hence, an easier answer to a simple question.
Being an actor in LA is very difficult. I still wow myself that not only have I survived Hollywood for six years, but I'm also still positive and making strides forward. Baby strides, strides I can't really see, but strides nonetheless. I've seen so many people come and go when this business was not what they expected, or they didn't reach their dreams fast enough. I get frustrated and upset all the time; rejection is never easy, and this town is full of it.
I've also seen a lot of people's hard work pay off, people who kept trudging along and fought through the obstacles to achieve success. But what is success? How is that measured? I am extremely hard on myself and have come to realize that I will always yearn for more, perhaps always keeping my "success" out of reach.
Life is all about perspective and attitude, no matter what field. I am grateful for everything I have, especially the unseen. In a tangible Hollywood, my success is also unseen. Facebook photos and blog posts are a mere facade to what really goes on, but that's the smoke and mirrors of the business, eh?
One of my favorite recent quotes that I truly believe in: "If you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen." - Conan O'Brien Here's to hoping my years of "doing nothing" will pay off.
If I ever create an LLC for my acting/writing/producing career, it will be called Nothing, LLC. I will be the President of Nothing. And I will love every minute of it.
Follow me on Twitter! Smoke and mirrors and random things! @kckasem
